


Sleepless

by daisyneptune



Category: Fushigi Yuugi
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:00:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28102050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyneptune/pseuds/daisyneptune
Summary: As Houki's world changes around her, sleep becomes more and more difficult to come by.
Relationships: Hotohori/Houki (Fushigi Yuugi)
Kudos: 1





	Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> This draws on events from the anime series and both OAVs, as well as a few little details I picked up reading a summary of Suzaku Hi Den.
> 
> Since it's mostly from Houki's point of view, I'm referring to Hotohori mostly as His Majesty, as the title seems to be how she refers to him.

Houki sat up in bed, staring out into the darkness.

It was too quiet.

Her village had never been completely silent, even at night. When the sun set at this time of year, the crickets would start to sing and the tall grass would rustle with a soft breeze. If the rain in the north had been good that year, the creek would be babbling, and the gentle sound always sang her to sleep. Here, behind the walls of her room in the palace, there was no sound to soothe her, no presence to make her feel secure.

The room Houki had been given was small, so she’d heard. But it was still almost as big as the house that she had until recently shared with her family. Having this much space to herself was unheard of, except for the nights where she would sleep outside for relief from the summer heat.

Hunger or cold would sometimes make her rest fitful. That was one thing that Houki tried to look forward to. Here in the palace, she would be fed and sheltered.

But there was no work to be done. At home, there had always been plenty to do, and her body would be tired enough to where she would succumb eventually. She had done little since she had arrived, outside of bathing and dressing and navigating the palace’s world of etiquette and protocol. She wasn’t tired enough to rest.

It would be a long time before she could get used to such a lifestyle.

* * *

Houki lay in bed, curled into a tight ball, the only sound her sobbing.

All day, she had felt as if something had suddenly gone very wrong. It had occurred to her that there had been no word from Kourin lately.

Kourin, of course, was only one side of Houki’s dear friend. The elegant and lovely one who’d been one of the first to speak to her in the palace and help her get accustomed to life there. The one who had revealed incredible strength that day, that sunny day when the pavilion had nearly collapsed on top of the Priestess and one of her warriors. Her friend was pursuing a noble destiny now, traveling as Nuriko, one of the seven warriors of Suzaku. Despite the heavy task at hand, letters arrived on a regular basis, and Houki was glad to know that her friend was well.

She had been wondering about how things were going when the news arrived from Hokkan. There had been no tears at first, only shock. She wandered around the palace grounds, feeling as if there had been some sort of terrible mistake in the universe. Someone as strong and as brave as her dear friend wasn’t supposed to meet such a fate.

The tears only started when Houki retired to her room and tried to sleep. But there would be no rest.

* * *

Houki rolled over in bed with a sigh.

Her body was pleasantly tired, after the long day of celebration and ceremony, and the love that had burned brightly into the depth of the night. Still, the new empress's mind was awake with a thousand wonders as she watched her husband’s sleeping face.

Empress. Husband. Those words were still so new, they didn’t feel real yet. The whole idea seemed as if it was a dream. She expected to wake any moment, still alone in her own chamber.

But the awakening never came, and His Majesty, the emperor Hotohori, continued sleeping soundly beside her. Houki folded her arms and propped herself up, just a little bit, to get a better look at him.

The lamp beside the bed was still lit, and the soft golden glow filtering through the canopy only made the scene lovelier. Of course, His Majesty had always been known for his beauty, but the fact that she would be the one who would get to see him like this … 

She reached out a hesitant hand. Her fingers brushed against his cheek. His eyelids twitched once or twice, but didn’t open.

Part of her - the part of her that hadn’t accepted all of this as reality yet - was shocked that she would dare to try to touch His Majesty. For so long, he’d only been a distant dream for all of the ladies of the court, and yet … now, she was  _ allowed  _ to do such a thing?! She couldn’t help but smile at her own silliness.

It would pass, by and by. But she was sure that it would never stop being the most delightful thought.

* * *

The child inside Houki was restless that night, and so was she.

She’d tried several sleeping positions with various arrangements of pillows, but nothing seemed to work for the both of them. Defeated for now, Houki slid out of bed and into slippers.

His Majesty wasn’t asleep, either. The threat of war that rumbled in the distance was keeping everyone in the palace on alert, and now he traded peaceful slumber for late nights poring over maps and missives. No one wanted to hold off the inevitable more than the emperor did, but there was only so much that could be done. If the enemy made their move, then Konan would have to do so in turn.

His Majesty was bent over his writing desk, his brush gliding over the paper. Houki walked up behind him and gently swept his long hair behind his back, so that it wouldn’t get close to the candle that lit his work. He looked up at her with a weary smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and reached for one of her hands.

Perhaps all of the sorrow could be held off long enough for a walk in the garden.

* * *

Houki awoke with a start. The sudden movement made her head start to spin and nausea rose in her chest. She took a few heavy breaths, looking around the room. A sad-faced handmaiden, eyes downcast, sat by her bed.

Why did the young girl look so sad?

What was Houki doing in bed in the middle of the day? Why was her head pounding, why were her eyes stinging, why …

She happened to glance at the small table by the bed. On it, an empty cup.

The pieces began to fall together.

Houki had drank from the cup, and then fallen asleep. The doctor had given her the cup. He said that she had needed to rest because he was concerned about her and the child. After all, the empress had reacted so strongly to the shock that there could have been a problem with the child if she hadn’t rested ...

What shock?

She looked back over at the handmaiden, who trembled slightly. At the corners of her eyes, the empress saw the smallest glisten of held-back tears.

Houki lifted a hand to her face. Her cheeks were still red and sore, her eyes still stung. Had she been crying, too? But what for …

The fog in her memory lifted, and she cried out.

* * *

The baby in Houki’s arms slept soundly.

Good. He could sleep enough for the two of them.

Her body might have been completely exhausted from the ordeal of birth, but there was far too much for Houki to think about.

What would become of this child, this last living proof of His Majesty that she now cradled? What would become of Konan, whose next rightful ruler had only just now been born? What would become of her?

How could someone like her sit on the throne of an empire - someone reeling so badly from her own grief and pain? Someone inexperienced like her? A poor farming girl who had been taken from her home not even a few years ago?

Houki looked down at the child, her eyes welling with tears.

This poor boy … he didn’t know what sorrow he was inheriting.

* * *

Houki could have been awake for an hour, or all night, or for several nights for that matter.

Hours, days, months … they had all melted into one another. When she did sleep, it was dreamless, and she never woke rested. And it certainly wasn’t in the royal bedchamber. There was no going back there; it was too big and cold without him.

A slow illness had taken hold of Houki since Boushin’s birth. Something had to be keeping her alive. Perhaps the servants who brought her tea had occasionally switched it with something more sustaining, like broth. It hadn’t mattered; nothing tasted like anything anymore to her.

Boushin was growing, day by day, but he hadn’t started speaking yet. Perhaps it was her fault. Houki hadn’t found a chance to speak since her husband’s death without a sudden sadness choking out her words.

Still … they both held on. They survived. For what?

Houki could only hope that there would be a reason.

* * *

It had truly been nothing short of a miracle.

When the word had begun to spread that His Majesty had returned to life, along with the other Suzaku warriors, it had sparked flames of excitement all over the palace. Advisors began to swarm, speaking of ceremonies and celebrations, but the emperor had smiled and shaken his head.

Those discussions were for the next day. Tonight, he wanted nothing more than to be with his wife and son. One evening of normalcy as a family, and then he would put on all the pomp and circumstances that the people demanded. If they would just grant him this one evening.

The evening drew on into the night, and the three of them had spent the hours after dinner sitting up in bed, talking and just being with one another, for the first time … well,  _ ever _ , apart from one short embrace.  Despite the long hours, there was still no sign of sleepiness on Boushin’s face. He listened, awestruck, as his father patiently answered any question he had about all of his adventures.

Father and son talked and laughed, and it had been a while before either noticed Houki, sprawled across the pillows, fast asleep for what felt like the first time in ages.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always had a soft spot for the Konan royal family. This wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
